Category: Uncategorised

Social media sluts

man person people emotions
Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

Do we have to listen to endless social media hooked simpletons whining on about how everyone is so against them and out to get them? The’ woe is me brigade’ – poor me, myself and I – feel sorry for me! We all know one or more. We are not being kind by harbouring their tales of woe on the likes of Facebook. These sad rejects lacking in any emotional intelligence should be taken off all social media platforms. In the spirit of the true purpose of social media these miserable wretches should be filmed whilst crowds of onlookers point and laugh and beat them with toilet brushes. Let’s post the clips on social media and enjoy ourselves having finally rid society of another gloomy, desperate emotional black hole weighing down on us!

Froggy knows!

 

 

This is Whitehaven

Welcome to Whitehaven; a place in The Lake District’s shunned borderlands where residents, workers and visitors are all left to rot in a town reminiscent of some third world favela. A cursory walk around the town, which should be an idyllic seaside town, and the decay and filth that defines Whitehaven is ever present. From dog waste which coats the streets like icing on a wedding cake, to litter in the parks and on the pavements in plain sight and squeezed meticulously into every nook and cranny, to dreary looking zombified people of drugged up extraction. Yes, this is Whitehaven.

A quick hop, skip and a jump across the discarded hypodermic needles leads you through housing association properties left to fire damage and decay by the “charities” that run them – bogged down by wage-takers and Costa coffee guzzlers and hiding behind the huge floundering dinosaur that masques their smug Schadenfreude. This is no match made in heaven. We need change.

Propped up by antidepressants and the most favourable summer for years locals sit out the misery, hoping for a better day – beyond the litter, beyond the anti-social behaviour, beyond the drugs dealing, beyond the mocking housing associations who have turned doing nothing into an art form and beyond the frustration delivered by an inept local council. We need action.

Dogged down by tight budgets, a motley crew of locals and the nincompoopery of housing associations and local councils, the police do what they can to serve a community who has lost its way, lost its pride and lost its community spirit.

This is Whitehaven. We need change. We need action. We need it now.

 

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Frog facts

frogs Photo

There are over 5,000 species of frog. Not all of them are angry frogs.

Frogs don’t need to drink water as they absorb it through their skin. That gives us more time to focus on drinking alcohol.

A frog’s call is unique to its species, and some frog calls can be heard up to a mile away. A bit like the people of Whitehaven who are also gobshites and loud.

Some frogs can jump over 20 times their own body length; that is like a human jumping 30m. This frog cannot due to a penchant for Nutella.

Due to their permeable skin, typically biphastic life (aquatic larvae and terrestrial adults), and mid-position in the food web frogs and other amphibians are excellent biological indicators of the wider health of ecosystems. Froggy gives this the thumbs up. People should look after their environment and surroundings.

In Egypt the frog is the symbol of life and fertility, and in Egyptian mythology Heget is a frog-goddess who represents fertility.

Froggy smiles and croaks.

Brexit

great britain hot air balloon flying
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Let’s exit Brexit otherwise we will all be stuck on this overcrowded island; cut off from the outside world with no future and no means of escape without the expense and rigmarole of a visa application. We can stay in the EU and Export our goods and services around the world. Let’s not throw our toys out of the pram just because we haven’t got our own way on immigration prior to the Brexit vote. Instead, Britain should lead Europe in modernising and moving forward.

We should be a force for positive change and working together. Let’s run Europe not go begging.

See, Froggy knows!

 

Old people

Froggy says its high time that the slow moving over 50s crowd are tagged and only allowed out into the community during specific time slots that will prevent these slow moving zombies from cluttering up the streets, shops, and supermarkets for the rest of us. They should also be charged a fee if they require entry into a post office. These simple measures will create a more harmonious community.

 

Stupid people

Froggy says Whitehaven and its surroundings is plagued by stupid people – miserable people with their bones sticking through their adidas and stupid pictures crayoned all over their arms, hands and legs.  This is why Froggy gets so angry.

Anyone with poorly designed artwork tattooed on to their body or with a bad dress sense should be sent back down to work in the mines and the proceeds donated to the intelligent, decent people of Whitehaven who take the time and effort to conduct themselves in a way that lifts this generally miserable place up out of its nuclear winter.

Listen to Froggy!