Category: Cumbria

DNA test dog poo

tan and white jack russell terrier stand on green grass at daytime
Photo by Mircea Iancu on Pexels.com

I am not sure about your town, but in Whitehaven, there is dog shit everywhere. Spread over town like icing on a cake. Paths, grass, streets, parks, piles of it. You can see it. You can smell it. You can slide on it. And in this cold weather, there is frozen shit everywhere, delicately frosted in situ. Enough is enough!

I am not blaming the dogs. Responsibility lies firmly with their disgusting degenerate retarded owners. It’s time we take DNA samples from all dogs and enter it into a database so we can catch these disgusting boggle-eyed dog owners and fine them or organize summary on the spot executions of these donkey brained hippos. Better still, let’s create big tanks of all the dog shit we have to scrape up and put dog owners in it so they can live like they really want to. People are the problem, not the dogs. Clean it up folks – bag it! It ain’t difficult, it ain’t challenging, it ain’t expensive  – you can manage to clean up dog shit without a Ph.D. education.

The Frog

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Bring in Dog license and laws

Time to introduce licencing and registration for dog owners. You should be 18 years old or above to apply for a license. You become the legal guardian for the dog. The license allows you to care for 1 – 2 dogs upon completion of a basic course in dog welfare. To obtain a license you would also need to show you have adequate income to support your pet, as well showing adequate health insurance to cover the animal. You should also be required to submit annually an attestation showing that your pet has received all relevant health and medical care required. This is the least we can do for although he may be man’s best friend, man is not always his.

The fee should be at least £100. The money raised would fund supporting the scheme and fund the creation of a concentration camp where offenders would be interned.

Froggy says: take responsibility. Take care. Bring in dog licensing Now!

Happy Friday

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Water Conservation

Froggy loves water. Froggy lives in The Lake District. This is because it’s very wet here. So why is Froggy’s water sent down south whilst Froggy is threatened with water use restrictions in the wettest place in England? Froggy wonders and becomes very angry.

I am not saying we shouldn’t share but those people (and frogs) in areas where there is less water should have the restrictions imposed so that froggy can continue to enjoy lavishly wet ponds, lakes and rivers. If they are not happy with that I suggest either they build reservoirs or other water management facilities closer to home or reduce their populations to more sustainable levels. Is Froggy right?

If we must send water down south then any that we do provide should be the shite that’s left over – the stuff the locals don’t want. We shouldn’t be tolerating shite water whilst the good stuff is sent elsewhere!

Froggy has to go! Enough!

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