Froggy’s space to prepare for global domination and the elimination of stupid people and nincompoopery in society
Let me tell you something, human: I am furious. Not my usual everyday fury—the kind triggered by people who microwave fish in shared spaces or leave shopping trolleys stranded like abandoned ducklings. No, this is a deeper, more existential rage. The kind that bubbles up from the swampy depths of my amphibian soul. And what … Continue reading The Very Angry Frog’s Righteous Rant About Building on Green Belt Land
The Very Angry Frog Observes the Human Suffering Caused by Road Bumps I am merely a frog. A small, damp, green observer of human behaviour. I sit on the roadside, minding my own business, occasionally eating a fly, occasionally judging a passing dog. But lately, I have found myself watching a new spectacle—one so absurd, … Continue reading Road Bumps Gone Mad: A Very Angry Frog on Car‑Killing Streets
What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do? The application of common sense. Croak.
The Very Angry Frog Prepares to Take Down Delivery Drivers A green frog on a lily pad surrounded by glowing red energy effects at night. I tell you this with every ounce of rage stored in my damp, amphibian soul: Whitehaven is under siege. Not by Vikings, not by storms, not even by the usual … Continue reading Frog’s Fury: Delivery Drivers Under Fire
What’s a promise you made to yourself that you’ve actually kept? Telling more people to frogoff was my promise and I've actually kept it. Go Froggy!
To hear the frog tell it, the average Brit now spends half their life working and the other half deciphering what new levy has been quietly slipped into the system overnight. Income tax, council tax, VAT, fuel duty, alcohol duty, air passenger duty, insurance premium tax — the frog insists the list is longer than … Continue reading The Burden of Tax in Britain: A Frog’s Perspective
The world is full of everyday injustices, but few ignite my amphibian fury quite like the plague of Space Hogs—those baffling humans who treat buses, trains, cafés, waiting rooms, and every other shared space as if they personally purchased the entire square footage. As the Very Angry Frog, I have witnessed many crimes against common … Continue reading The Space Hog Epidemic: A Frog’s Rant on Public Courtesy
Why Frogs Desperately Need Road Crossing Points (And Why Humans Should Stop Being Menaces) If you’ve ever driven down a country lane at night and seen something small, green, and slightly panicked launching itself across the tarmac, you’ve witnessed one of nature’s most dramatic and least appreciated performances: the Frog Road Dash. It’s like Frogger, … Continue reading Let’s make flat frogs a thing of the past
I am not sure about your town, but in Whitehaven, there is dog shit everywhere. Spread over town like icing on a cake. Paths, grass, streets, parks, piles of it. You can see it. You can smell it. You can slide on it. And in this cold weather, there is frozen shit everywhere, delicately frosted … Continue reading DNA test dog poo
I am not sure about your town, but in Whitehaven, there is dog shit everywhere. Spread over town like icing on a cake. Paths, grass, streets, parks, piles of it. You can see it. You can smell it. You can slide on it. And in this cold weather, there is frozen shit everywhere, delicately frosted … Continue reading DNA test dog poo
