Category: Whitehaven

DNA test dog poo

tan and white jack russell terrier stand on green grass at daytime
Photo by Mircea Iancu on Pexels.com

I am not sure about your town, but in Whitehaven, there is dog shit everywhere. Spread over town like icing on a cake. Paths, grass, streets, parks, piles of it. You can see it. You can smell it. You can slide on it. And in this cold weather, there is frozen shit everywhere, delicately frosted in situ. Enough is enough!

I am not blaming the dogs. Responsibility lies firmly with their disgusting degenerate retarded owners. It’s time we take DNA samples from all dogs and enter it into a database so we can catch these disgusting boggle-eyed dog owners and fine them or organize summary on the spot executions of these donkey brained hippos. Better still, let’s create big tanks of all the dog shit we have to scrape up and put dog owners in it so they can live like they really want to. People are the problem, not the dogs. Clean it up folks – bag it! It ain’t difficult, it ain’t challenging, it ain’t expensive  – you can manage to clean up dog shit without a Ph.D. education.

The Frog

kisses

Bring in Dog license and laws

Time to introduce licencing and registration for dog owners. You should be 18 years old or above to apply for a license. You become the legal guardian for the dog. The license allows you to care for 1 – 2 dogs upon completion of a basic course in dog welfare. To obtain a license you would also need to show you have adequate income to support your pet, as well showing adequate health insurance to cover the animal. You should also be required to submit annually an attestation showing that your pet has received all relevant health and medical care required. This is the least we can do for although he may be man’s best friend, man is not always his.

The fee should be at least £100. The money raised would fund supporting the scheme and fund the creation of a concentration camp where offenders would be interned.

Froggy says: take responsibility. Take care. Bring in dog licensing Now!

Happy Friday

FB_IMG_1533304242440

Water Conservation

Froggy loves water. Froggy lives in The Lake District. This is because it’s very wet here. So why is Froggy’s water sent down south whilst Froggy is threatened with water use restrictions in the wettest place in England? Froggy wonders and becomes very angry.

I am not saying we shouldn’t share but those people (and frogs) in areas where there is less water should have the restrictions imposed so that froggy can continue to enjoy lavishly wet ponds, lakes and rivers. If they are not happy with that I suggest either they build reservoirs or other water management facilities closer to home or reduce their populations to more sustainable levels. Is Froggy right?

If we must send water down south then any that we do provide should be the shite that’s left over – the stuff the locals don’t want. We shouldn’t be tolerating shite water whilst the good stuff is sent elsewhere!

Froggy has to go! Enough!

540147

 

 

Animal Communicators

Missing your pet? Animal Communicators claim to be able to get in touch with your pet after s/he has passed to the other side. Oh yes, these people are out there! Animal Communicators Froggy’s arse!

Can this be? If so, would we want to contact our here departed pets? What would we say to them? What would we hope they might say to us? Well for £39 per hour you may be able to find out!

Would you?

marketing man person communication
Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

 

What a lovely dog! Ours is dead.

Dog walking is a great way to meet new people! What an unfortunate thing. I would rather walk my lovely little dog away from people and their self indulgent misery. Quick to corner you on some footpath people are eager to tell you “oh, what a lovely dog!” which isn’t a problem in itself until invariably it is followed by, “I used to have a dog like that. It died. It’s their hearts you know, sometimes their ears, ours suffered for years…”. Why can’t these delinquents get into their miserable old brains that we dont all want to be reminded of the woeful life and death of their little King Charles Cavalier, little Pumpkin.

Some of us, including our pets, are out to enjoy our time together, our walks and fun in the parks. We don’t want these canine depressives bringing us down. Not that we don’t sympathise with their loss but we just don’t want to share in it at this particular time. So, if you are guilty of this, please spare a thought next time you stop someone to admire their dog and it brings back memories of bygone family pets. Share the happy memories please you miserable wretches!

Froggy is very pissed off today so please take the advice offered.

close up of dog on grass
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Old people

Froggy says its high time that the slow moving over 50s crowd are tagged and only allowed out into the community during specific time slots that will prevent these slow moving zombies from cluttering up the streets, shops, and supermarkets for the rest of us. They should also be charged a fee if they require entry into a post office. These simple measures will create a more harmonious community.

 

Stupid people

Froggy says Whitehaven and its surroundings is plagued by stupid people – miserable people with their bones sticking through their adidas and stupid pictures crayoned all over their arms, hands and legs.  This is why Froggy gets so angry.

Anyone with poorly designed artwork tattooed on to their body or with a bad dress sense should be sent back down to work in the mines and the proceeds donated to the intelligent, decent people of Whitehaven who take the time and effort to conduct themselves in a way that lifts this generally miserable place up out of its nuclear winter.

Listen to Froggy!