Category: Uncategorised

DNA test dog poo

tan and white jack russell terrier stand on green grass at daytime
Photo by Mircea Iancu on Pexels.com

I am not sure about your town, but in Whitehaven, there is dog shit everywhere. Spread over town like icing on a cake. Paths, grass, streets, parks, piles of it. You can see it. You can smell it. You can slide on it. And in this cold weather, there is frozen shit everywhere, delicately frosted in situ. Enough is enough!

I am not blaming the dogs. Responsibility lies firmly with their disgusting degenerate retarded owners. It’s time we take DNA samples from all dogs and enter it into a database so we can catch these disgusting boggle-eyed dog owners and fine them or organize summary on the spot executions of these donkey brained hippos. Better still, let’s create big tanks of all the dog shit we have to scrape up and put dog owners in it so they can live like they really want to. People are the problem, not the dogs. Clean it up folks – bag it! It ain’t difficult, it ain’t challenging, it ain’t expensive  – you can manage to clean up dog shit without a Ph.D. education.

The Frog

kisses

The Dating Game

frogs PhotoPeople are a bastard and dating is a bastard. So far of the 7 billion people on this great big spinning ball of shite I have only found, say 6 or so, that I am able to tolerate for any period of time. Two of them were on life support and I just had to sit with them and hold their hand. Even that became mildly annoying because I couldn’t reach out and eat the Milk Tray sitting just feet away; still, one moves on. It feels like I have dated all 7 billion people and on that front, I have not found a single one that cuts the mustard. The closest I came to finding my perfect partner was the one who was sporting a grand collection of customer loyalty cards; Starbucks, McDonald’s, Burton’s Menswear, Easy Jet you name it there was a points and bonus card for it. But I had ideas above my station and I had the audacity to want more.

Dating is a bastard and people are a bastard. Here I am. Single. My only hope for finding a partner is the post-Christmas and New Year break-ups. Well, let’s be honest at that time of the year there is an influx of new stock on to the dating circuit.  The broken hearts are rich pickings for us long-term singletons. Dating sites are replenished with rejected partners whose Christmas presents didn’t live up to expectation or whose New Year drinking excesses bought out a little in vino veritas that wasn’t welcome.

I’ll let you know how it all goes, this is one thing froggy isn’t so knowledgeable about.

Frogs Awaaaaaaaay!

Sentence drinkers to transportation to Gabon

clear glass beer mug filled with beer

The time has come to make alcohol less accessible. Let’s save our children, families, property, streets, hospitals and emergency services from the pressures of alcohol use. For too long have we turned a blind eye to the problems generated by alcohol use and misuse. The price of alcohol should triple in cost per unit in the UK. This includes alcohol sold in pubs and clubs and restaurants and supermarkets. Individuals should need to apply for an alcohol license if they wish to be able to legally purchase and consume alcohol. On application they can be checked; their age, background and any criminal tendencies. If the application is successful a microchip alcohol passport would be issued allowing holders to purchase and consume alcohol.

Stiffer penalties for alcohol (and drug misuse generally) should be imposed including but not limited to transportation of convicts to Gabon.

Froggy knows!

Bring in Dog license and laws

Time to introduce licencing and registration for dog owners. You should be 18 years old or above to apply for a license. You become the legal guardian for the dog. The license allows you to care for 1 – 2 dogs upon completion of a basic course in dog welfare. To obtain a license you would also need to show you have adequate income to support your pet, as well showing adequate health insurance to cover the animal. You should also be required to submit annually an attestation showing that your pet has received all relevant health and medical care required. This is the least we can do for although he may be man’s best friend, man is not always his.

The fee should be at least £100. The money raised would fund supporting the scheme and fund the creation of a concentration camp where offenders would be interned.

Froggy says: take responsibility. Take care. Bring in dog licensing Now!

Happy Friday

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Blackpool the new capital of the UK!

What do you think of when you think of London? Expensive? Crowds? Stress? Miserable old Buckingham Palace? Dreary old Big Ben in scaffold clattering away it’s bells?! London can frog-off – Froggy says, let’s make Blackpool the new capital city of the UK! Blackpool is much more fun and a true representation of all things British!

It’s a fun, friendly, vibrant city where anything goes. It’s got a great funfair – fantastic for entertaining international diplomats or a place to take president Donald Trump on his next visit! Gifts galore in Blackpool that we can bestow on foreign delegates; whether it’s Blackpool rock or sugar dummies or green candy floss, Blackpool has everything we need to make an impression. What better introduction to our fantastic United Kingdom.

The Queen and royal family could move into Blackpool tower. What could be more fitting for our hard working royal family than a penthouse suit at the top of Blackpool tower?

There’s plenty of room to deck out a corner of the winter gardens for the new parliamentary building.

Blackpool has fantastic piers perfect for re-introducing public hangings from.  Froggy doesn’t ordinarily advocate the death penalty generally but in the case of executing stupid people and making some money back on entry fees Froggy says, YES!

So, I think it’s a clear cut case for Blackpool as the new capital of the United Kingdom. It’s much more a reflection of our self, society and politics!

Froggy knows best!

Click to find out more about Blackpool

Blackpool Pleasure Beach Website

 

roller coaster ride
Photo by Angie on Pexels.com

 

 

Water Conservation

Froggy loves water. Froggy lives in The Lake District. This is because it’s very wet here. So why is Froggy’s water sent down south whilst Froggy is threatened with water use restrictions in the wettest place in England? Froggy wonders and becomes very angry.

I am not saying we shouldn’t share but those people (and frogs) in areas where there is less water should have the restrictions imposed so that froggy can continue to enjoy lavishly wet ponds, lakes and rivers. If they are not happy with that I suggest either they build reservoirs or other water management facilities closer to home or reduce their populations to more sustainable levels. Is Froggy right?

If we must send water down south then any that we do provide should be the shite that’s left over – the stuff the locals don’t want. We shouldn’t be tolerating shite water whilst the good stuff is sent elsewhere!

Froggy has to go! Enough!

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Russia

One nuclear attack and one chemical attack against Britain by Russia and still no military response by either the UK or NATO. Is the UK government too spineless to stand up to a Russian attack on home soil or do they fear they wouldn’t get the backing of the people.

The Poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko with Polonium-210 took place in 2006. Alexander Litvinenko was a former officer of the Russian Federal Security Service (FSB) and KGB, who fled from court prosecution in Russia and received political asylum in the United Kingdom.

Polonium-210 is highly radioactive substance and a lethal poison. Polonium is a radioactive chemical element (atomic number 84) that was discovered in 1898 by Marie Curie, who named the element after her country, Poland. In its natural state, at room temperature, polonium is a solid metal with a silver colour.

Amesbury novichok incident in 2018. Two dead. Read more on this on the BBC news website – Amesbury – Two Collapse

Russian warships passing through English Channel also in 2018.

Russian planes ‘buzzing’ UK airspace. The practice of flying close to British airspace to test the responsiveness and readiness of the RAF. This was common place during the cold war and the practice has increased significantly in recent years.

Military spending needs to at least double in the UK and coordinated defence spending and planning throughout NATO and the EU required. A coordinated effort is the only way to maintain security through efficiency, coordination and showing common partnership.

Time to pressure Russia – militarily and put pressure on their Geopolitical and Geostrategic assets.

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Animal Communicators

Missing your pet? Animal Communicators claim to be able to get in touch with your pet after s/he has passed to the other side. Oh yes, these people are out there! Animal Communicators Froggy’s arse!

Can this be? If so, would we want to contact our here departed pets? What would we say to them? What would we hope they might say to us? Well for £39 per hour you may be able to find out!

Would you?

marketing man person communication
Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

 

What a lovely dog! Ours is dead.

Dog walking is a great way to meet new people! What an unfortunate thing. I would rather walk my lovely little dog away from people and their self indulgent misery. Quick to corner you on some footpath people are eager to tell you “oh, what a lovely dog!” which isn’t a problem in itself until invariably it is followed by, “I used to have a dog like that. It died. It’s their hearts you know, sometimes their ears, ours suffered for years…”. Why can’t these delinquents get into their miserable old brains that we dont all want to be reminded of the woeful life and death of their little King Charles Cavalier, little Pumpkin.

Some of us, including our pets, are out to enjoy our time together, our walks and fun in the parks. We don’t want these canine depressives bringing us down. Not that we don’t sympathise with their loss but we just don’t want to share in it at this particular time. So, if you are guilty of this, please spare a thought next time you stop someone to admire their dog and it brings back memories of bygone family pets. Share the happy memories please you miserable wretches!

Froggy is very pissed off today so please take the advice offered.

close up of dog on grass
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